Optimize your funnel to sell more
Get more people to buy stuff from you that they don’t really need
Google Ads
Tips to optimize the Google ads you rarely even check on.
Landing Pages
Tips to get people to buy when the knockoff is way cheaper.
Copy
Tips to help people understand what the hell you even do.
Tips for making your emails less painful to read.
Our Services
Cart Abandonment
We help reduce cart abandonment and recommend a therapist to help you deal with the pain of losing $79,178/mo because you focused on your logo redesign instead.
Copywriting
Your copy makes us lose respect for you initially, but when we fix it, we realize you’re not a bad business after all; you just really really really suck at copy.
Email Marketing
If you’re foolish enough to waste your money on sending your kids to college, we improve the best channel to pay for yet another stupid decision you’re about to make.
We are your second set of eyes
Most website owners are so close to their business that they don’t see the things we do.
Our system is simple and after auditing so many websites we can spot your leaks immediately.
Our services pay for themselves, which makes working with us a no-brainer.
“This isn’t a real testimonial because I’ve been too busy making YouTube videos to prove to you I know my s#$%.”
Jay Cavanaugh
Why The Wealthy Choose Us
Passionate
We like looking at websites because it’s a skill we’ve developed over 17 years, and it makes us a shit ton of money so we can hit the beach while you’re still stuck at a job you can’t stand.
Professional
We are professional until you piss us off, then we add seven days to all email responses because we can. If you’re nice, you make more money and wickedly enjoy working with us.
Support
Once we get paid, you’ll never hear from us again because we know you people don’t want us showing up in your email inbox as a reminder of what you couldn’t figure out on your own.